Thoughts of You
by Nal'om
Summary: Yes, another AsheRasler fic!  It begins with a look at their journey from their wedding day to the day of Rasler's death.  It will have a happy ending.  If Square Enix can't do that for Ashe, I will!
1. Prologue

**_Ah! Hello all._**

**_Anyway, this is my second Ashe/Rasler fic. Yes, it will be Ashe/Rasler. You'll see..._**

* * *

**Year 704 Old Valendian**

**the wedding day of her highness Ashelia B'Nargin Dalmasca to his highness Rasler Heois Nabradia**

_Let the bells ring from every tower in the city_

_Let every messenger spread out throughout the land_

_Let all fears be cast away_

_A new hope is born for the citizens of Nabradia and Dalmasca_

_Our kingdoms unite today_

_-Proclaimed by an unnamed noble of Dalmasca_

Her Highness Ashelia B'Nargin Dalmasca, more commonly known as the Lady Ashe, stood on a block of wood raised a foot off the ground in front of a five-panel gold-rimmed mirror. The royal seamstresses were putting the finishing touches on her wedding gown. 'I'm getting married today' Ashe thought idly to herself. Finally, the seamstresses finished and stepped back. Ashe admired the armored gown for a minute, turning around in front of the mirror. A maid helped her off the pedastal and Ashe gathered the hem of her gown in her hands, lifting it up off the ground. She glided to the front gates of the palace, where she was to meet her future husband, Rasler. She would have married him if he was a three-legged toad to save her beloved Dalmasca, but now she couldn't imagine marrying anyone else. He was funny, handsome, and would be a great king. She just hoped she could be a worthy queen.

Rasler stood at the gates, clad in shining armor. She smiled. The maids that were to assist her to the chariot smiled. The hope and joy of the day seemed to be contageous. Today was the best day of her life. She was saving her kingdom, and marrying a great man. What could be better?

Rasler turned to look at her, and smiled. Ashe moved to stand beside him.

"You look beautiful" he whispered in her ear. Ashe blushed. "Are you ready for this?" Rasler asked.

"As ready as I ever will be." Ashe whispered back. Rasler beamed and gave her his hand to help her up.

There was a large band in front of them, as well as a score of armed guards. Although this wedding was a strategic move for the military, Ashe wouldn't have it any other way.

As they started moving, the citizens craned their necks to get a look at the future royal couple. They waved and cheered. Ashe and Rasler acknowledged them with a wave or a nod, but could barely keep their eyes off each other.

Finally, they arrived at the church. Ashe's uncle Ondore was to be the priest. Rasler and Ashe walked down the aisle together. Nobles from both kingdoms smiled at them from all around. Whether they were smiling at them or what they represented, neither knew or cared.

"In the name of the father and in the presence of these holy relics, I pronounce you man and wife from this time forth. May the blessings of the gods light your path for all eternity. Faram." Ondore's voice echoed throughout the silent hall. Ashe and Rasler stared into each other's eyes, lending the other strength. Rasler moved to kiss Ashe to finish the ceremony. When their lips finally met, an "ooh..." arose from the crowd. They broke apart beaming. They had done it.

* * *

**During the year 705 Old Valendian**

The prince and princess became inseperable. It was obvious they were happy. They spent all day in meetings with the court and the king, and the evenings they had to themselves. They took to taking long rides together through the city, or walking through the palace together.

Ashe had never been happier. She loved Rasler. Even though their marraige was rushed-she was barely of age when it was arranged-she loved every minute of it. She had never been closer to anyone in her life. Rasler couldn't believe how lucky he was to be married to Ashe and the best part was the war would be over soon. Archadia would be defeated and Nabradia and Dalmasca could rebuild. They would help their countries become great again-together.

Or so they thought.

* * *

**The Night before Rasler is to leave for Nalbina**

"What?" Ashe asked, tears welling up in her eyes. Rasler had just said the impossible, no-it couldn't be true. He couldn't be going to fight-her father would not allow it.

"Ashe, you have to understand. They may have my father. I have to defend our home." Rasler pleaded for Ashe to understand.

"But what happens if you don't...if you don't..." No matter how hard she tried, Ashe couldn't wrap her mind around the situation.

"My dear, I've been trained since birth as a soldier. You can't expect me to sit back and watch as my country is destroyed."

"No, but I thought you would try...for me...for us..."

"Ashe, look at me." Rasler forced Ashe's chin up, making her look at him. "I don't want to leave you, but I have to. I will come back. You have to believe that." Ashe was now openly crying. She threw her arms around Rasler. After the initial shock, he hugged her back. Ashe's tears dripped down his armor.

"I still don't see why you have to leave."

"It's too late for me to back out now. I have to go."

"When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Rasler..."

"Nalbina must be secured with all haste. We can't allow any Archadians to cross into Dalmasca, or we risk losing the kingdom."

"I'll wait for your return." Ashe took a step back. "Always. I'll sit here looking out that window until you return."

"That's the girl I married." Rasler smiled and bent down to kiss Ashe.

"Goodnight, my princess."

"Goodnight, Rasler."

* * *

**The Day Rasler is to leave for Nalbina.**

Ashe stood with some of the nobles of the court on the podium behind her father. Rasler stood before him, waiting to receive his sword and the king's blessing. Her father's words fell over a silent crowd. The joy of their wedding day was dampened by the fall of Nabudis.

"Galtea stand watch over your life."

"That I be considered worthy."Rasler stepped back. He turned to face his wife, the princess Ashe.

Ashe stared back. She opened her mouth to say something. She wanted to stop him, call out...she wanted to go with him. But of course, her station as a princess held her back. Rasler gave her a small nod, and turned to face the army assembled to fight. He raised his jeweled sword, and shouted a war cry. Ashe had never been more worried, butshe knew it had to be done. After all, Rasler was first and foremost a warrior. As he walked down the stairs to mount a chocobo, he turned and waved at her. His face smiled, but his eyes didn't. Ashe waved back. She turned away knowing her heart and spirit had left Dalmasca with Rasler.

* * *

**A few days later**

Ashe had been staring out to the Nabradia-Dalmasca border for hours now. They should have returned by now. She had to know what happened-if they lost, the royal family would have to run and go into hiding. She couldn't bear the thought of that. At least Rasler would come with her and protect her always.

Suddenly, movement in the distance. It looked like-yes! It was the army! They were a little more than half-an-hour away from the palace. Ashe ran back to her rooms to change, then took off at a sprint for the palace gate. When she reached there, the army was fast approaching. She looked frantically among them for Rasler, but didn't see him. 'That's odd,' she thought to herself, 'He's probably helping out in the back, tending to the sick or something.' She waved her arms frantically and smiled. The man in front saw her. He kicked his chocobo into a run, and as he approached Ashe realized it was her captain of the order. He looked...the best word she could think of was "forlorn." They must have lost. No matter, that meant she would have to go into hiding for a few months. A small price to pay for her country. Her father and Rasler would sort it all out.

Basch dismounted, and walked tword Ashe. His eyes gazed at her sadly. Ashe's breathing stopped-Rasler wasn't hurt, was he? If that was the case, she would do everything in her power to get him better as soon as possible. Oh, she hoped that was not the case.

"Basch, what is it?"

"Not now, my lady. I think it would be best if we discussed it with your father."

"Does it have anything to do with Rasler?"

"Yes."

"Then as his wife, I should know."

"But the king-"

"Basch, as your future queen I demand to know what has happened to my husband!"

"Princess Ashe, Rasler was hit by an Archadian archer."

At his words, every one of Ashe's senses went numb. It felt as if she was witnessing the entire scene from a third-person point of view, and this person had nothing to do with the prince.

"Is it bad? Will he live?"

"I know naught. I am sorry."

Ashe turned and walked away, slowly. This couldn't be happening-he promised he'd be back. She had reached the front yard when she felt as if she was slammed back into reality. The emotions she had been feeling hit her like a bullet. They were too strong. She fell to her knees. It felt as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest. She couldn't bear the thought that Rasler may die. That was impossible, he'd promised he'd come back. Memories of her wedding day, the months after that, and then his departure came flooding back.

"RASLER! DON'T LEAVE ME!" Ashe screamed. Tears streamed down her face onto the ground. She sank down so her face met her hands.

"PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! YOU PROMISED! YOU PROMISED!" Then, in a more hushed tone: "Rasler, please...please...I need you."

One of the palace workers had heard her screams. She now ran across the lawn to bend down next to Ashe.

"My lady, are you all right?"

"I don't know...I really don't know..."

* * *

**A few days after the army returned**

Ashe had been spending every day by Rasler's bedside, watching him and praying. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't sleep. Her father was deeply worried, but she would hear nothing. Rasler was too strong to die.

"Rasler, I love you." she whispered in his ear, and collapsed into a fresh fit of tears.

* * *

**One week after the return of the army**

The doctors had been trying and trying. One came in to check on Rasler. Ashe usually ignored them-they rarely told her anything she didn't already know. This time was no different.

Ashe didn't take her eyes off Rasler. She kept hoping that he would open his eyes and see her again. She missed him so much.

The doctor took Rasler's pulse, and stepped back hurridly. Ashe's eyes snapped open.

"What is it?" she demanded.

"My princess, I must inform you that the Lord Rasler is..."Ashe gasped. He was going to live!

"He's dead, my lady." Ashe's heart stopped beating. She stared in shock. Her arms fell to her side. She nearly toppled over, but caught herself in time.

Ashe turned to face Rasler. His eyes remained closed. No-this couldn't be true. Any second now he would jump up and into her arms. This couldn't be happening.

And yet it was.

She moved closer. He wasn't breathing. As far as she could tell, the doctor had been telling the truth.

When she realized this, she collapsed. Head in hands, she went into hysterics. Tears streamed down her face. Her eyes became red and puffy.

"DON'T LEAVE! RASLER!" she screamed.

"RASLER! DON'T GO! YOU CAN'T LEAVE! I NEED YOU!" her voice cracked as she screamed "you," and she was so overcome with grief all she could do was cry.

"DON'T EVER LEAVE ME! PLEASE! RASLER! YOU CAN'T BE GONE! I LOVE YOU!" The doctor moved over to try and comfort her, but there was nothing he could do-nothing anyone could do.

Ashe's life was shattered.


	2. Black Rose

Two Years Later

A lot had happened since that fateful day at Nalbina. The Resistance, lead by the Lady Ashe, had managed to overcome Archadian occupation and free Dalmasca. Although she had won back her kingdom, thoughts of Rasler weighed heavily on her mind. She had been living her life as was expected-banishing all rebellious thoughts from her mind. Deep down, she didn't want to be queen. She wanted to run away. Far away. There were too many memories in Dalmasca.

Those closest to Ashe had noticed a change in her. The vibrant, world-loving princess they had loved was gone, a new battle-hardened, cold, distant princess had taken her place. Whispers echoed behind closed doors-whispers about the lady's sanity, how well Dalmasca could hold, and even alliances to prevent another invasion.

Whenever Ashe was asked when she would remarry, she laughed and replied "I'm married already." Concerns rose-concerns about uprisings, thieves, and the security of the people. Ashe took them all in stride-it was something she had been trained for her entire life.

The princess spent much of her time at a newly erected memorial to those who had fallen in the Archadian invasion. It was a large, marble block with a marble rose and sword on top of it. Engraved were simply the words "never forget." The people of Dalmasca had been deeply scarred by the invasion, and the princess was not the only one to visit often. Every day she would spend hours brooding by the statue, and always would leave a bouquet of roses, always in the same color. One was black, which symbolizes farewell, one was lavender, for love at first sight, a red and a white rose symbolizing unity, and in the center a yellow rose with a red tip, symbolizing falling in love. Curiously, of the bouquets, the black was always the first to wilt and the yellow and red were the last. Red and white roses had shed their seeds around the memorial, which was now dotted with red and white buds.

* * *

During a dinner party with several prominent Dalmascan nobles, the princess was bored to tears. She was tired of hearing their stories-laughing at their jokes, and flashing fake smiles when necessary. Just when she was ready to excuse herself at the risk of offending the company, one of the palace messengers tapped her shoulder. Handing her a note and bowing, he left the room. Ashe read the note quickly.

"Please, princess, receive me at the gates to the palace. I must speak with you-it is urgent." Sighing, Ashe stood up. Making appropriate excuses to the nobles she darted out of the dining hall twords the main gates. Thoughts pounded through her head-who could possibly need her this early? She hoped it had nothing to do with Archadia, although she had full confidence in Larsa he was still a young, unestablished ruler.

At the gates stood a young man in Archadian armor. He carried a bow slung carelessly over his shoulder. Looking tired and world-weary, he removed his helmet. His face was badly scarred, his hair was drawn back into a loose horsetail. Green eyes glittered sadly as he gazed upon the princess.

"How may I help you?" the Lady Ashe asked politely.

"My lady"-he bowed and then returned to standing-"It is my understanding that you were the wife of the Lord Rasler, Prince of Nabradia?

Ashe inhaled sharply, before nodding.

"You believe he was killed, yes?"

"Of course he's dead, I saw it with my own eyes. If you come to toy with me promising false hopes I shall have you chased across the Archadian border immediately."

"I mean no disrespect. I knew him in an-indirect way."

"How so?"

"I was one of the soldiers fighting for Archadia at Nalbina.

"How did you know Rasler?"

"He was leading the Dalmascan force. My lady, if you would permit my saying, there is the possibility that the Lord Rasler still lives."

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**Ooh, suspense. Sorry for the slow updating-school started again. Ugh. Reviews motivate me to get up off my butt and type this, so please review!**


	3. The Prince and the Sword

**_Ok, First off, I'm sorry I haven't updated in like...FOREVER, but time is tight with school and all sorts of activities, so fanfiction-writing sort of got pushed pretty far down the priority list. I'll try to make the next chapter longer, promise!_**

**_Many Apologies,_**

**_Nal'om

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_**

Ashe froze. Was this some kind of sick joke? She wasn't laughing, that's for sure. Staring at him, she realized that there was a sincerity in his eyes. Whether that was just a front or honesty she couldn't tell, but reason outweighed her desperation.

She turned and slapped him.

"How dare you." Ashe's voice was low and dangerous. The soldier put a hand to his cheek, which was now turning an interesting shade of purple.

"How dare I what?" the soldier asked, confused.

"How dare you imply that Rasler lives on when I saw him with my own eyes, dead and lifeless lying in a coffin. The arrow wound was fatal."

"I am sorry for your loss, but it is possible his spirit lives on."

"No, I'm afraid you must be mistaken, or insane. I warn you if you don't stop reciting this jibberish right now, I shall be forced to have you punished by your emperor, whom I happen to know quite well." Ashe turned briskly, making quick, deliberate steps away from him.

"My lady, listen."

Ashe, however continued to walk away.

"You know the sword he used was enchanted, correct?" Ashe stopped moving, but didn't face him.

"What sword are you talking about?"

"The one he used at Nalbina. Someone enchanted it before he left."

"You must be mistaken."

"No, my lady. I am a mage myself, I recognize a spell when I see it."

"No matter what spell it was, it obviously didn't do him much good."

"I wouldn't be so sure, your majesty." Ashe turned to face him, finally.

"Why shouldn't I be sure?"

"The spell on the sword was a powerful, ancient enchantment. You must know there was a small amount of magicite contained in that sword."

"Magicite? I'd sooner have nothing to do with that. Do you have any idea the devestation it has caused?"

"Yes, I witnessed it first-hand at Nalbina. However, for every evil there is a greater good. The enchantment on the sword allowed the bearer, if killed, to remain alive in the memories of others."

"What are you saying, soldier?"

"I am saying, if I may be so bold, that the Prince lives on in your memories."

"Rasler will always be with me, but that doesn't mean I can ever see him again."

"I beg to differ, your majesty."

Ashe's breath quickened at his words, her heart speeding up. If this was another one of her dreams, she hoped she wasn't going to wake up.


	4. Loyalties

"What do you mean?" asked Ashe, finally.

"I mean that it's possible Rasler isn't completely dead. He's living somewhere between here and death."

"Then he's trapped there?"

"For the moment, yes."

"..."

"...my lady, I would like to make you an offer."

"What offer?"

"...if you would allow me, I would like to accompany you on your quest."

"What quest?"

"Surely you can't plan to let Rasler live on like this?"  
"You assume too much, especially considering you are an enemy soldier on Damascene soil. I would be completely justified in having you hung on the spot" Ashe spat out fiercely

"Please, my lady. I need to do this, for me."

"Ah, so all this is for your own benefit?"

"In a way, yes."

"…your motives are questionable. You're lucky I loved him so much, otherwise your body would be hanging from traitors' hill before you even had a chance to scream."

The knight shivered at the implication.

"Well, since we'll be traveling together, my name is Bacchus, or Sir Bacchus if it pleases you, my lady."

"Bacchus is fine. You must not forget that I am the queen, after all."

"Of course, my lady."

"Meet me here tomorrow, at sunhigh. We must work out a plan to sneak away. It will be difficult, as you can imagine, for a queen to get away from her courtiers."

"Of course."

"Goodnight, Bacchus."

"Goodnight, my queen."

"I am not YOUR queen. I am the queen of Damasca, and you would do well to keep that in mind." With this, the Lady Ashe stormed past a shocked doorman, who quickly recovered and resumed his place of standing as still as a statue.

The lady Ashe sat at her vanity, upright and straight as an iron rod as one of her maids, Grace, brushed her hair.

"Grace, what do you think would happen if I was to leave?"

"I'm not quite sure I understand what you're sayin', miss."

"If I were to leave the palace."

"Well, I'd be out of a job."

"Seriously, Grace."

"I'd imagine you'd be greatly missed. You're quite well-loved in Dalmasca. You saved our kingdom. Some people may take it as a sign of bad things to come if you were to just disappear."

"…" Ashe paused for a minute. She hadn't completely thought this through-shouldn't she wait? Shouldn't she demand this Bacchus present some sort of factual evidence? Her immediate answer was no. She couldn't wait. If there was any chance of Rasler being alive…

Ashe just knew this needed to be done. It wasn't at all rational, and went against everything she had been taught since she was a little girl. But this might just be her last chance to ever see him alive again. For once, she had to do something for herself. Yes, it was incredibly selfish, but she decided this was one time her needs had to be put above the kingdom's.

The Following Day

Ashe slowly crept along the corridors of the palace. If anyone were to catch her sneaking around…she would have a lot of explaining to do, considering she was supposed to be ill, trapped in her bedroom with a thousand maids hovering over her.

Footsteps. Ashe quickly hid behind a large stone column.

Clank

Getting closer now…

Clunk Clank Clunk

Ashe could hardly breathe.

Finally, a voice

"I can see you, my queen"

Ashe recognized that voice. Basch: the last person in the world she wanted to see right now. Cursing under her breath, she slowly came out from behind the column, putting on the most intimidating face she could muster.

"You shouldn't curse, my lady. What if someone were to overhear? We wouldn't want it getting out that our Queen is some type of barbarian now, would we?"

"Coming from a soldier, that's about the most ironic statement I've heard in a very long time."

"Touché, my queen. May I ask why you're creeping around the corridors with a very nasty sickness that should leave you stuck in your room for days?"

"…" Ashe's heart rate sped up. Basch was supposed to be a traitor. He was currently impersonating his brother in Arcadia, but had come back to "represent the state of Archadia", but Ashe suspected he had been a lot more homesick then he let on.

Could she trust him? He was working for Archadia now. But still, he couldn't have completely traded sides that quickly…but if word got to a neighboring country that their queen was leaving…invasion, riots, any matter of thing could happen. She bit her lip, thinking.

"I know that look, you're thinking about something important."

Ashe decided that maybe loyalties weren't so easily moved.


End file.
